Do not know what i expect out of life..

 

I have wanted to find free time for doing the activities i like to do.. But when i find time i do not do things that i wanted to do . Not quite sure of my devious mind..there are times when we can distinguish ourselves from the ordinary. 

I have myself still searching why i am such an erratic, idiotic, lazy and stupid guy. Yet i like me as myself. I have hope in me that i will one day be “great”. Oh i have define the word i fantasize most “Greatness”. Ever since i started seeing the world in its charm, i have always wanted to be a nerdy,highly sensible , great lover and one and only genius. As days went by i knew i am not even close to being an ordinary human being. What to do,reality is bitter. I do not have guts to say to my heart that i am not that greatness material i had always wanted to be. Yet there is this sense of some thing will work out .

Ultimately its all gets to what i want from my life which is constantly changing by every breath i take in and out. The changing goal is so rapid that i hate myself .

But today i learnt that if i wanted something, i have to spend time on it. Not the mere desire and gravity of wish will give the fruit falling on my hands.

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